The Name Game

Lardo and his bestie Sergio

The Eastside Gang has a reasonably democratic system for naming our pets.  It usually goes: 1) I choose a name and everyone shoots it down, 2) I keep calling said animal by that name, and if no one comes up with anything better, the unfortunate name sticks.  It's similar to our process of electing government officials, only with fewer dick pics.

There's also a hierarchy of animals and their names.  I usually get to name the dogs, and Regina and I collaborate on horse names.  There are always exceptions.  Regina named Lardo, the St. Bernard, because I picked him up at a restaurant by that name.  Dylan named our last foal Princess Banana Peel and you'd have to be the biggest jerk in the world to turn down a name that awesome.  Regina, inexplicably, lets me name the cats, unless it's a particularly cute/orange/fuzzy one, then she calls it Schmooshy, Fuzzy, or OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, and I just can't top that.

Hermione, or HerMOOne

Last year, Dylan named her fair heifer Hermione, after the Harry Potter character.  I thought I'd come up with the dad-joke of the year when I tried to rename her HerMOOne.  That name went over like a fart in church, but believe me, I tried pretty hard to make it stick.  I started calling this year's heifer Dolores, after the lead singer of The Cranberries who just passed away.  Dylan wanted to change it, only because she wanted to name her daughter Dolores, not her heifer.  I don't know what freaked me out more, the fact that she's already naming her children, or my first granddaughter will be a Dolores.  But, she hasn't come up with a better name for the heifer, so Dolores it is.

Bumblebee

Grady loves all things Transformer, so he named his goat Bumblebee.  If he had his druthers, he'd probably name all the animals Bumblebee.  He'll be getting his fair turkeys soon and I'm anxious to find out which Transformer he's going to name them after.

We're in the market for a new puppy (I'm sort of always in the market for a new puppy, but that's a different story), and for the first time in a long time, I haven't already chosen a name before I've picked out a dog.  I'm okay, at best, at picking out names, but where I really suck is picking out puppies (see: Floyd, Chowder, Buster ... ).  I may just forfeit this turn and let Regina pick out the pup and the kids pick the name.  Bumblebee II just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?