Nothing Hurts

Ranch MD

 My big toe hurt, and I was sure it was gout.  Everyone's most trusted doctor, Web MD, confirmed it, and I prepared myself for a new, healthier lifestyle.  Running shoes were purchased.  Then, like a Phoenix rising, a crescent of black emerged from the base of my toenail and I realized that I had somehow smashed my toe, probably by a large animal, and forgotten about it.  

It made me laugh because I should have known better.  Bumps and bruises are just a normal part of ranch life.  For far, in 2021, I've had my right thumb caught in a halter on a calf I was halter-breaking and sprained it; sliced the base of my left thumb while castrating calves; fell, headfirst, off a feed truck that was about 13 feet off the ground, and landed, fortunately, on the back of a cow who wasn't pleased, and face planted in the dirt.  My pupils didn't match for 2 days, but I sure slept like a baby.  And that doesn't count the bruises, nicks, sore muscles, tweaked back, or black toe.

This is from a cow kick to the lip

A few years ago I came off a horse in a bad spot and broke a few ribs and a vertebrae.  I was laid up on the couch for a few weeks and my kids would see me winching in pain whenever I moved.  They'd ask me what hurt I'd tell them, "Nothing hurts."  It was supposed to be a bigger message about grit and perseverance, about hurt vs injury, and probably about self-care.  I think they saw it as a lesson in dad being dumb.  But, hey, it's just part of the job.  I try to be safe.  I try to be careful, but cows kick, chutes pinch, swather blades spin, and feed trucks are pretty damn high off the ground.